How can a toilet school best serve its students? Should it streamline its curriculum? provide tutors? conduct bar-review courses?
Or should it offer a few lessons on the ukulele?
Unique among lemmings, Duquesne's students get the opportunity to play this noblest of instruments while they pretend to learn about torts and civil procedure. From the video provided at the link above, it appears that ambition so far greatly exceeds skill, as one might expect from Duquesne generally. I have unfortunately missed the students' unprepossessing performance of "Margaritaville", but I know it's my own damn fault.
When the trend of "diversity" reaches Duquesne, the family of lutes on offer will no doubt be extended to the sitar, the oud, and the balalaika. Regrettably the imminent shuttering of Indiana Tech forecloses the possibility of a collaborative effort for four-string faux-Hawaiian hip-hop.
The American Bar Association—or is that Barre Association?—has contributed $750 to this juridical ascent of Parnassus. Yet again we have proof of the ABA's commitment to sound expenditures in support of legal education. The pioneer of Duquesne's unique program hopes to expand it with a lending library of ukuleles. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I doubt whether many students would be willing to share a G-string.
In any event, Old Guy will happily support Duquesne's worthy effort with a composition, complete with chords for anyone who may be strumming along. (If you're from Duquesne, you probably can't manage more than three chords, so change C7 to C.) Perhaps it will be performed at a future luau for law professors in Waikiki.
ALL HAIL DUQUESNE
Air: "Aloha 'Oe"
– | C – F – | C – – – |
Pittsburgh has a toilet law school that's just nifty:
G7 – – – | – – – – |
I got in there with a score below one-fifty.
C – F – | C – – – |
And one special feature I endorse most gaily:
F – G7 – | C – C7 – |
Others study law; we play the ukulele.
F – – – | C – – – |
All hail Duquesne! Though I've no brain,
G7 – – – | C – C7 – |
And I owe two hundred grand for my tuition,
F – – – | C – – – |
And jobs are few, one thing is true:
G7 – – – | C – – ||
I can pluck the strings and act like a musician.